8:39 PM


I have been a horrible person about keeping up this blog. As our little Lorelei has grown older, it has grown harder to keep up with this thing. I'm sorry to all.

I am unsure of when our last update was, but I know that many things have happened since. Early in the month, Lorelei got to meet her great grandma and great grandpa. They came all the way up to visit us from Texas! Grandpa brought her a beautiful wooden toybox he made for her that she has been enjoying tremendously (as have I, it is big enough to keep most of her toys in one spot, HURRAY!)

Following that, on the fifth, her father and I got married! It was an absolutely beautiful day and everything went splendid. Lorelei and her cousin, Gabe, were our flower girl and ring bearer. My mom pulled them down the aisle in a wagon, which was absolutely adorable, as planned. The following weekend, she was spoiled by her Grandma while Drew and I ran away to Duluth for our first ever vacation just the two of us! That was a ton of fun.

The month continued with a campout, some fun at Nana's and than--before we knew it, Lorelei turned ONE on Monday. I could hardly believe it! This Saturday is her party, and that will be tons of fun. Tomorrow is my birthday. It is hard to believe that only a year ago, I was sitting in a hospital trying to figure out how to take care of this precious gift from above.

Lorelei is doing splendid. She is not quite walking yet, but we're hoping for any day now. She has figured out how to stand from any position almost, without pulling herself up on anything. This is huge!

I would love to type more, but it is getting late and the Mr and I are super tired.

8:14 PM

I'm really Sucking at this, aren't I?

Oh, Life has been so busy that it is difficult to remember to update something that doesn't bug me and remind me!

First, and most important, I am kind of obsessing over the fact that our little girl is just over a month from turning one! She is getting so big! As I'm sure you may have guessed, she is working on her walking skills. If she doesn't fully realize what she is doing she may even surprise you by standing on her own (usually with a toy in each hand). She cruises furniture like a champion already as well.
Drew and I went to goodwill last Thursday because each Thursday they run a special--Toddler Thursdays. Basically, if it is a child's item, than it is 1/2 off their marked price. We found her an older walk behind toy--for 1.50! She will cruise with this thing until she runs into something, than we turn her around and she'll go another round. She still prefers the one at Grandma and Grandpa's because it sings if she keeps walking.
Speaking of singing! She is so cute with one of her new things. She bops her head to music!

Next, we are under 20 days until I change my last name. Things are starting to come together, and everyone involved seems very excited. I suspect that this is the reason that I fight to fall asleep most nights these days. Eh, it will all be over soon, right? So, as we go on, things are getting checked off of the list fairly fast. My future mom-in-law and sister-in-law have been simply amazing with this. They are really helping create some memories for us to look back on to remember this whole process.

And the home front....we are doing lovely in our home. It has been a challenge to keep it clean, with a mobile little girl (who is often attached to my leg) but we work hard at it. Our cupboards are falling apart a little more each day, however I think I have a swell solution to the issue. For right around $50 I can put in shelving in place of the cabinets, than use what is usable of the cabinets to fix the lower cabinets to make them more efficient.
I have plenty to do before winter, as we have a couple of leaks in the house, and would like to see them ready for Spring. However, with everything going on, most of the home projects are on hold until after the wedding. Sad, but true.

We are much looking forward to seeing my grandparents again as they make their journey from Texas. I do not believe that there is a week that goes by that I don't miss them. I wish they could see their great grandchildren more. However, being in Texas makes them happy, so I do not begrudge them that.

6:25 PM

5:30 PM


Well, I tried to update a few weeks ago with photos but it would not let me. Than my computer hick-upped, and I lost the post!

We are doing well, fairly busy at all times. Lorelei is working on figuring out walking, can you believe it? When we started looking at this place to move into, she started crawling, and now, she is cruising along furniture and walking when you hold her hands! I just cannot believe how big she is getting.

Last Thursday, we sent out wedding invitations and are already recieving RSVPs back! It is so exciting for us! Life is really starting to come together for us and that is a fabulous feeling.

Friday morning, we packed up the car and we drove about 3 hours north of us to Drew's family's cabin. We spent the weekend there and really enjoyed our mini vacation. Lorelei had her first dose of fireworks. She was rather amused until about halfway through, when she promptly curled up into me and fell asleep. It was very cute. Sunday, we made homemade ice cream. Monday, after breakfast, we drove home. Lorelei slept most of the driving, and when she was awake, she played. She was very well behaved, considering the length of the trip.

I am going to make a second post, I hope, to try to show you guys the photos I have for you. I have photos of Lorelei's room! And Lorelei, and stuff.

9:59 AM

And the wheel keeps on turnin...

Things are going well around here. Miss Lorelei is definitely an active girl now. She pulls herself up like a little champion. She is testing here and there allowing herself to let go of whatever is holding her up. She'll stay up for a few seconds, and either fall or as she starts to waver, grab onto her furniture or whatever.

We are officially in the homestretch until we move. Everyone is very excited. It may not be a forever home but it'll definitely work until we can save up for something better. Personally, I think it's lovely.

I am working on creating a Recipe box for us. So, if you have an excellent recipe, that would be awesome.

Miss Lorelei's auntie Kailey graduated last Friday. It was fun. Lorelei got to play with Grandma and Grandpa and some of their friends. She got to meet some of Grandma and Grandpa's nearest and dearest friends, and I did some photography fun. It was quite fun.

9:38 AM


I just wanted to share some photos with you guys...

9:28 AM

My Darling Girl,

Lorelei, it is morning and you are nearing on your 8 month birthday. Time has passed so fast. I feel like it was only yesterday that I had this little girl who was less than half your size in my arms at the hospital. I wasn't sure I knew what to do with this little bundle of cuteness. However, Mommy's instincts must have been right, because look at you, you are crawling and pulling yourself up, you are attempting walking along the furniture. You are a very intelligent little girl and there is not a day that goes by that I do not swell up with pride at something you do. You amaze me every day and every day I dream of more dreams for a wonderful life for you.

We are getting close to moving out of Amma and Umpa's, my angel. You will soon have your own room, and my heart sometimes constricts at the thought of you being so far away from me at night. I know it's time though. Mommy is very excited to paint and prepare a nursery for you. Your auntie Kailey is coming over to help care for you while I prepare the bedrooms. I hope that I can prepare a home that you can be proud of as you grow up.

As I watched you play this morning, I had to wonder to myself how your grandmothers feel at this point. If I can barely have you in another room, imagine how it must be to have your child in another city! There are some Mom's that lose their kids to another state! Can you imagine that? I hope you never want to move that far away from me. I love you with all of my heart, little one. Please never forget that.


2:08 PM

Everything just keeps moving.

Well, the other day, we did the bank account draining rounds. We made our down payment on the house, and signed lease and all. This is very exciting, as we are getting down there for time left to moving date. Andrew and I are definitely having occasional panic attacks when we think about money, but I know that we will make it. We will be extremely tight and limited but it will be okay.

Lorelei is doing wonderful. She is sleeping so incredibly well--last night was about 12 solid hours! I will try to get some updated photos-and maybe small video of our little crawling machine posted soon.

We are all very excited to get this going...

10:40 AM

A busy Mama...

My apologies to all that it has been a month since I last posted. We have been a very very busy little family.

First off, Lorelei started crawling about a week after she cut the first tooth, and she also cut a second tooth. She is getting so big, it is hard to look at her and remember how little she was and that she was once small enough to fit inside of me. I can barely believe that my little angel is nearing 8 months old. She is absolutely beautiful. She also started pulling herself up on anything that'll stay still long enough for her to use it. If you hold her hands, she will walk now. She is a smiley, happy, giggly little girl and I love every single moment of it.

And of course, paperwork has been signed for the purchase of our mobile home. Though it is small, Lorelei will finally get her own bedroom (as will Mommy & Daddy) There is a living room, and a computer area and washer and dryer IN the unit! We are all very excited. Our address will be the same only the unit number will change to 78. The current owner is leaving some plastic play equipment for Lorelei to play on outdoors as well!! We got a super deal on this place and if it weren't for that, we would not be fortunate enough to be moving!

Things are on track for the wedding still, I will be starting to get the invitations ready soon. Than I can make all the decorations and all. Life is finally starting to come together and look wonderful. I am very excited for the direction that everything is moving in.

8:49 PM


My crabby girl isn''t quite so crabby anymore...

She cut her first tooth!!!!!!!!!!!

7:52 AM


Motherhood. The word itself is almost bittersweet. Becoming a mother is one of the most joyous events of your life. It brings a new level of worry, but with that, new levels of love and joy. As the mother of a young child, you don't have the 'is she out with a boy that she shouldn't be?' instead, with the language barrier, you have 'am I feeding her enough?' 'is she getting enough rest?' 'why is she up at 3 am? did I do something wrong today?'

Than, before you know it, there is a culmination of something you've been working hard to teach. For at this age, a child is taking in everything you do and learning from it. Lorelei has been on all fours a lot since she turned 6 months. She'll rock back and forth. Than, before we knew it, she was scooting backwards. Now, with some assistance (we tap on the appropriate limb gently), she goes forwards a little bit.

And with learning the concept of alternating limbs this way, she will start to move her legs in a walking pattern at times as we go towards her toys when I hold her arms. Before, she would just stand there and stare at you.

She loves to take toys out of her box, and sometimes she even puts them back in!

My little girl is getting so big, so fast!

12:36 PM


Good Afternoon,

Andrew and I have been discussing the idea of the 'going private' with this blog. We agreed that it is a good idea. One of the concerns is safety, being as more information can be figured out than is believable these days on the internet just with a few pictures and names. Another concern is that sometimes things written about here are just not things for the world to know about. It is okay for family to discuss certain things but not the entire world.

I wanted to give people time though. So I'm saying that on April 30, 2009, this blog shall be going private.

So, the way that this website works is that if you would like to follow than just leave me a comment with your email address (or if you're more comfortable with it, email me) and I will send out an invite to follow the blog on April 30.

I am open to anyone following, I just need to know who has access to this information.

Thanks for understanding!

7:27 AM

Life is Wonderful

My apologies for not posting in awhile. Life has gone well for us since our last post. Lorelei had a fabulous first Easter. The basket the bunny dropped off through Mommy and Daddy had some fabulous toys in it, as well as "Puffs" and a bathing suit. The bunny also left one with Grandma, which contained a new bib, some tights and some treats-and the basket was decorated with a cute tutu which is wearable!

So off we went to St Cloud to see Nana, Auntie Nita, Uncle Timmy, Cousin Gabe and everyone else. We adored having fun with Gabe's toys, and seeing everyone. We had a wonderful time there, and barely made a peep all day other than squeals of delight. Nana also had gotten her a GIANT pink bunny who she loves to death!

Next, we made a surprise appearance at Grandma W's. We were hoping to see Uncle Nick, however he and Amanda had another event for the day so we missed him. Lorelei got another new toy and her favorite shoes in the next size up from Grandma. She got to play with Auntie Kailey a ton which she thought was great. Than, before we knew it, she was too tired so she went to sleep and we headed home.

Other than that, things are relatively normal around here. I am under the belief that Lorelei is teething. She is definitely more crabby easily, is drooling like crazy, chewing on everything...all the classic signs. However, she is easy to deal with still right now, aside from later in the evenings, so I realize that I am fortunate in that aspect.

Also, I almost forgot. Saturday, we went to Springbrook. They had a 'spring fling' with an egg hunt and walking. The picture to the Left is the egg hunt for Lorelei's age.

6:38 AM

Too Fast!

The days pass so fast between blog posts! I swear it feels like I just posted yesterday, yet it's been nearly a week!

Well, as we all know, my little girl has hit the 6 month mark. It is difficult to believe that I have been a mother for half a year. I realize I have a whole lifetime to go with this, but the time has passed so insanely thus far. She is getting so big!

Her 'well visit' weighed her in at 17 lbs 15.5 oz, and about 26 inches long. She hit the 75th percentile across the board, meaning that right now, she is perfectly proportioned.

She is now sitting up almost as much as anything else. She also attempts to crawl. She'll get on all fours and sometimes rock back and forth and sometimes just sit there. She now drinks juice out of a sippy cup sometimes, though she is not highly into that yet. She holds her own bottle and all!

I remember that little girl though that we brought home from the hospital. She was so tiny! And it's amazing, she's only going to keep growing...

10:14 PM


I have been debating something. I have considered making the blog by invitation only, meaning Andrew or I would have to email out the invitation to view it. This would mean that all readers would have to sign up for a blogger account.

I know that for some this is rather inconvenient, however this blog has personal things in it, and personal nature. I will let all know if I decide this, of course, and send out the invitations. Of course, if I don't have you're email, you can leave an anonymous comment to let me know what it is and who you are.

I enjoy being able to blog about personal things and let people in on our life. I am not good at talking, this is a disadvantage of course to having both depression and anxiety problems. I appreciate being able to share but due to the personal nature and the pictures of my daughter on the blog...I just feel this may be the best way. There are too many mentally ill people in this world that would/could prey on the photos contained in this blog and put my daughter in danger, and it has put important relationships at risk because things are searchable here.

At this point, please assume that I am going 'private' and make sure to make an account and become a follower of mine. If you need help, please leave a comment telling me how to email you and I will send a mass email to help you all.

6:42 PM

Mixed Emotions

Things are going...well, they are going. Friday was relatively uneventful, as Andrew worked all day. Saturday morning, to put it lightly, my Dad and I had a fight. We used to have these fights before as well. I won't get into what was said, but let's just say it ended in tears on my side and Drew and I leaving earlier in the day than we planned on. We had planned on going to Mom & Dad's (his parents) and borrowing the minivan because we knew that Lorelei needed a new crib. Her old one was not exactly safe but it was getting us through. It took some searching but we found one we liked at IKEA, so we needed the van to go all the way to Mall of America.

Well, we talked Mom and Dad into coming with us. That made it even more fun. So the 5 of us went, we introduced Mom & Dad to the wonders that are IKEA, purchased Lorelei's new crib and wandered the Mall a little. Mom bought Lorelei a few ADORABLE outfits, one of which has a hilarious story behind it. We were in the Disney store, shopping clearance, and Drew went out to hang out with Dad outside of the store. Mom and I finished up and took Lorelei with us to Carter's. It's than that we discover that she has a dirty diaper. Not a huge issue, especially since MOA Carter's now has a changing table RIGHT IN THE STORE! Not only is it there, they hae free diapers there and wipes! How awesome is that?! So anyhow, Mom kindly goes to change Lorelei and discovered that she had blown out all over her clothes. So I was sent out to get a new outfit for her (we normally have one, but due to the fight that morning we had only a few things with us). We changed her, and paid and she resulted in the most adorable outfit!

So, we got to spend the day (Lorelei's half birthday, I might add!) with Mom and Dad which was awesome! Lorelei got her new crib, which is great as can be! And we had a wonderful day!

Sunday, we did L's 6 mo pictures at JC Penney. We had Mom and Kailey with us so we got some really wonderful pictures of them with Lorelei. We will be getting those back soon enough.

Monday, L started to get very very cranky and pulling her ears and all that so I brought her in, and she is now on amoxicillin for her first ear infection! But she's getting better.

8:37 PM

Our Wedding 'chapel'

2:04 PM

A Girls Wardrobe

Good Afternoon again, all.

I am constantly being asked what people can buy for Lorelei. Since she has just switched sizes, already bringing her to 6-9 mo clothing, I thought I would inform people about her needs.

First off, socks. Somehow, we all had a little too much fun on the smaller socks and now she has none for 6 months on up!! We love plain socks but just like Mama, she loves her 'fun socks' best.

Sundresses are also something she only has a couple of. I hope that as the weather warms I will be able to put her in dresses more.

Pants, shorts and skirts are the only other thing I know of for sure thus far that she could truly make use of right now.

I appreciate anyone and everyone's thoughts on it and although I do not mind shopping for her, I know that there are many that have fun with it, so why not share the wealth?

Much love to all


11:51 AM

What a Weekend!

It is officially spring. Not only does the calendar say so, but we were blessed with our first thunderstorm last night. One of the hits of thunder was so big and so loud that it vibrated the house. I am happy to report that Lorelei did not move or wake up. This is even better because this house has been struck by the flu again. What a wonderful way to welcome spring, eh?

We went camping this weekend at the place where we are having our wedding. It was wonderful to get away, and we also got some photos for those that are curious. I'll have to post them later, as some have people in them and I do not have their permission to post their faces on the internet so I just have to sit and blur them out out of simple respect.

I am still getting over my bout of the flu bug, so although I know that I had a lot to say, it has all escaped me. I'm sorry.

7:19 AM

And now, a word from our sponsor

Hi, my name is Lorelei. My Mommy said that she would help me post. She is doing the typing because my fingers are still too wittle to work the board. I told my Mommy that I would like to tell you guys about my world.

I'm a little little girl you see. I owny six months owd. Mommy says I tall for my age. I wouldn't know. I only meet a couple uver babies. One I see lots is my cousin Gabe. He has already made it to one year owd. He walks up and steals my toys! I can't chase him and get it back though cause I too wittle to know how. Someday I'll get dat boy back doe! Gabe likes wewwo. It is his favowite cowor. I pwefer wed do.

I know anover baby. His name is Wobbie. He is a very nice boy. He's a month younger dan me, so really we just stare at each other still. Sometimes, I squeal at him. Mommy says I see him tomowow.

My Daddy wuvs me beary much. He bought me an ecersaucer. It is fun. I stand in it and I can turn awound to pway wif my toys and I can jump! I wike to pway in dis a wot.

Dis week, I stawted showing my Mommy and Daddy and Umpa and Amma that I can sit up. I am big girl. I wather enjoy my new flavors of foods too. Mommy has been giving me wittle biscuits that I can nibble on.

I weally wove my life. I play a lot. But I wearning SO much!

Okay, I bowed now. Byebye!

8:33 AM


Last night, we hit a milestone. I know this isn't one that is on the charts, but it's a fun one for us.

Lorelei took her whole bath *20 min* sitting upright. She was therefor better able to play with the toys her daddy got her for Christmas. She is getting SO big!

12:30 PM

Ugh, no fun.

I do not feel well. My throat is sore, my nose is stuffed, and I'm tired and feel weak.

Lorelei is in the middle of a horrible growth spurt, and a hint of teething thrown in.

I'm exhausted. She's exhausted.

7:31 PM


Apparently my thoughts are controversial. People are upset. That will not change my views. I took a moment before starting to write to search for an article. This article was written while I was in high school so it is no wonder why it is no longer available online.

It is an article about a teenager who became addicted to various substances. It was a young lady who worked hard and became sober. She did everything to straighten her life up. She was 16 at the time. Do you know where that girl is today? Writing in this blog.

I didn't get where I am today by people hiding what I was doing. I did not get this way by people pretending that I wasn't doing anything. I was on a road to screw up my life and if it weren't for people embarrassing me following this, than I wouldn't be where I am today. It is not my job to expose people or drag them down. It is not my job to force people to face the mirror. However, it is also not my job to enable them to continue drinking or doing drugs or anything.

I want my daughter to have a healthy life. If she were to become an alcoholic, it would not necessarily be my fault as her mother, however I will work to show her that she can prevent that.

I love my family, be they chosen, the ones I was birthed into OR the ones that come with the man I have come to love. It is for that reason, and that reason alone that I care enough to not let the members of that family be enabled into drinking by simply joining the club of silence. It does not bother me that people are upset by my beliefs. I will not bury the things I believe in for the sake of our embarassment for associating with them.

I am not embarrassed to know an alcoholic, though. Alcoholism is a disease. Often it is like cancer. I would not hide to anyone that my mother battles breast cancer as we speak. Why would I, in turn, hide that my future father in law battles alcoholism?

If we look outside ourselves, we can find hope and help.

So, no, Grandma, I will not change my words. They are there. I did not ask for you to offer them to others. I do not mind others knowing my story, but I will not change it for anyone. And yes, his battle ties into my story as well.

Yes, Dad, people read what you have done. Use that embarrassment to fuel your change in yourself. Work hard and you can do it. There are people you don't even know praying for you (or doing their religion's equivilant.)

If Lorelei continues to sleep, I will try to soon give you an update into our lives.

5:42 PM

Good Evening

Things have gotten better around here. Mom is not feeling well, however she's the only one. Lorelei is doing wonderful. Can you believe she's already hitting 5.5 months old? I can't. It does not seem so long ago that I went to try to change Gabe's diaper on the floor and my water broke.

That day seemed to go slow, but moments since have sped by. We recently started moving Lorelei up to the "Stage 2" foods. She is trying everything that she is allowed and we finally have something she does not like!

This is Lorelei, begging Daddy to make Mommy stop giving her this "food" called Macaroni & Cheese. I can't say I blame her. The pureed version of mac and cheese is so incredibly bland and GROSS.

We spent Saturday with Kailey and Grandma Sandy. We all went down and picked up Kailey's bridesmaids dress, and my wedding dress! Grandma Sandy also happened to find her own dress! We ate lunch at Old Chicago, and had some good conversation, than proceeded to one of her favorite stores, Marshall's, where we found Lorelei's flower girl dress. It is so pretty!

We than went to Lorelei's great grandma's and showed our dresses, while Drew figured out that the new computer didn't have a dial up modem like Grandma needed.

Saturday night, we spent the night at Drew's parents' house. I love staying there usually. Drew's family is really wonderful and I feel like a part of the family. In fact, apparently his father feels so incredibly comfortable with me that he felt secure in getting himself to the point of fall down drunk, because I know it is my dream as a daughter in law and mother for my daughter and I to see Grandpa fall down! Please please realize I am being sarcastic with that last sentence.

I do not know why I keep my silence to Ken anymore. I wish he could understand how much he is hurting his family. I wish he had the strength to use that to sober up. I have been unable to get Sunday's images out of my head. It also breaks my heart to see Drew go through this, as well as Kailey. The only reason I don't ache for Nick is I don't know him as well. However I do feel bad for him. Please continue to keep Kailey and Sandy in your prayers that Ken's destruction may not only end finally, but that they may find a way to continue being strong enough to deal with what they have to right now.

Let's get back to other things though. I do not want to be a complete debby downer. Lorelei is now much more into showing off her rolling over skills. She's been able to do it for awhile, but finally is letting others see it. It is so adorable and she gets so excited about it. We will be having pictures done at the end of the month, and I hope to send some out for everyone.

6:44 PM

The hardest thing I've ever done!

It has been a hard hard week.

Lorelei caught a stomach virus, possibly the flu. The poor little girl now has diaper rash so bad that a simple diaper change is painful. She had an IV and due to that, they had to splint her arm. It broke our hearts...

Tues night, my excellent sleeper suddenly was up every 3-4 hours. At first it seemed like she was having a rough night. Little did I know, she was indeed having the roughest night of her life thus far. Wed morning, she started vomiting. It started off slow, other than the volume. Within 3 hours, she was vomiting everything she ate. My clinic's policy was to wait though because she had no fever.

I got an appointment anyhow because this was not right for her. I brought her in, and within a few hours of it all starting, she was already borderline dehydrated. The doctor gave her a pedialyte popsicle-so that she was forced to take it slow. No go, she threw it all back up.

They sent us to the ER, for an IV and some fluids. Before we knew it, they were admitting us because her electrolytes were out of wack. We thought we'd be there one night. She had a decent night, until about 5 am, at which point the diarrhea started. We were to stay another night. She stayed hooked up to the IV with fluids dripping in for nearly 48 hours. It was heart wrenching to see, even though I know so many have been through worse...

She is still ill and sleeping poorly but we are home. It has been the hardest two days of my life thus far.

I have a few adorable (but sad) photos on my phone of Daddy and her curled up in the crib together-yes you heard me right, he had to sleep IN the crib with her.

4:17 PM


I'm sorry it has been awhile since I have been able to take a moment to post.

Things are still going well with us, as ever. Lorelei is as adorable and beautiful and fun as ever. This week we gave up the bouncy seat and swing-cold turkey. She was just getting too big for them! We have moved onto the walker and exersaucer. She completely adores her exersaucer. We are enjoying trying to catch up on things around the house, haha! It is hard but we're getting there.

On another note, I'm very excited, all bridesmaids dresses are ordered, Tuxes are set up for ordering, my dress is almost paid off...things are really coming together.

Drew's work however will be closing soon. We will have a 60 day notice before he gets laid off, than BOOM. I hope that we can find something for him soon.

I am hoping to start a little bit of my own work. I found a site called Etsy.com it offers people the ability to list their handmade jewelry, etc and sell it online. I am going to try...I hope to be able to offer at least a small variety of things.

8:13 AM

Morning everyone!

So it is Thursday morning, and after the dog woke me with an emergency need to be let out moment at quarter after three this morning, I realized I should probably update today. I wanted to take a few moments on other topics than just Lorelei though.

First of all, Drew's work is planning to close it's doors. This means that somewhere between a month from now and November, he will be laid off. We are trying to find him a new job, but haven't even been able to find anything to apply to. I keep a happy face for him, but to be honest, part of me is scared that we'll be stuck here at Mom and Dad's for way longer than I can stand. Do not get me wrong, I love my parents and the opportunity they gave us in letting us move in, however I want my family in their own home. I want Lorelei to have her nursery...I want Drew and I to have our privacy...I dream of the ability to make family and household decisions between just Drew and I...the ability to stay in on a Friday night and be just the three of us.

As some of you know, I have been battling post partem depression. After a slew of different meds I am now on Lexapro, and it is seeming to work. I feel like at least a semblance of myself as long as I persistantly remember to take them. I forget them once in awhile but it is okay. I am also switching from the prenatal vitamins finally, now that my prescription has run out, I have a complete weight loss multivitamin, and a few additional vitamins.

Well, Lorelei is crying out and the rest of the house is sleeping so maybe I'll be able to update later.

8:44 PM

Everyone could use smiles from Babies!!

11:47 PM

Growing Up


I cannot say that enough it seems. I was just looking through the photos that we have been blessed with the opportunities to take and I can't believe that 5 months ago I was big as a house waiting to get this little girl out.

I look back and see the pictures of the apple orchard visit--she was only around a month old!

Than Christmas, only a month and a half ago...

But learning that an infant truly does develop with quite speed and no saving stuff for tomorrow, these days pass so slowly at times than looking back...she seems so big now, but she was so little.

I already feel all teary, what will I do when it is time for bigger stuff?

My angel is already growing up so fast.

10:36 AM

Better Late Than Never

Well, Monday was Lorelei's 4 month check up, as well as an appt for me.

Lorelei weighed in (naked) at 15 lbs 12 oz. She is now already 25.25 inches long! Doctor said she is doing beautiful and wonderful! I am so proud of my girl! She had her next round of vaccinations. Monday night she was fine, and Tuesday, her fever spiked all the way up to 104.1 the doc didn't want her in until 105 though due to the vaccinations. The poor girl had a rough day, she was so hot and her legs were so sore, but the little trooper is doing perfect now!

He also checked me out because my sciatic nerve has been acting up. I was diagnosed with sciatica and will be starting physical therapy for it within the next few weeks.

10:04 AM

If You search hard enough...

There is almost always hope somewhere.


6:26 PM

All Hail King Computer!!

Well, my poor Drew has had a very computer-rific weekend.

First, he cleaned up his parents' laptop, including his sisters' pictures and what not. He did hours of work to clear some space and hopefully help it run faster.

Upon coming home this evening, I decided I was 'done and frustrated' and that we would reformat my computer. This, of course has already taken a couple hours. However, my computer was constantly freezing various programs before and I could not deal with it.

What have I learned? I am less frustrated when I delete file by file than one big section. It makes me happier because I feel that I am constantly doing SOMETHING.

Andrew has informed me that some of the sadness occurring for the last year and a half or so has increased again. This brings heaviness to my heart, as I always hope that people can work things out. Yeah I know, I am a pathetic optimist, but I always have been and if my personal past cannot knock me down, than really, I am not sure that anything can. I have said this once, and I will always say it, I love my future in laws and am sad that they will be going through this. If I could, I would do anything that I could to help them, though they know that if nothing else, Andrew and I can be an ear for them.

On another note, my little girl gets her second round of shots tomorrow. I hate that she has to have this, if I could, I would absolutely take it from her. However, I know that it is good for the long run. Everyday, there is something new, and I absolutely love it! She is getting better and better with her hand-eye coordination, she plays with her toys on her own now.

She has also begun to sit better and better with support. I am in awe as to what this little girl has accomplished in such a short amount of time. I cannot even express the joy each little accomplishment brings me. This life that our creators has offered is so incredible and so gorgeous. I think of the years that I was certain that the horrors of my past had brought me to be barren, and that I was certain I would never have such a joy as to have a little girl and it brings tears to my eyes to think that we were graced with this opportunity. I try my hardest to focus on the positive and hope for the negative to become better and although I know that some people don't feel that that is a good thing, I find that its something that I don't care about.

Well, I will add a few photos here for you guys, and after that, it is time to clean up and consider...maybe an early night in bed?

By the way, Drew got a haircut this weekend...it's now about chin length, and it curls up so pretty...I doubt there is enough length to put it in pig tails like above.

5:35 PM

Free Carseat!!


We have to admit, that this would be freaking fabulous to win. It'd also be perfect timing. Please take a look and enter...

2:03 PM


So it has been a wonderful couple of days.

First of all, my little girl turns 4 months tomorrow, officially. I can't believe it's already been that long, however on the same thought pattern, it is hard to imagine life without her. I don't know if Drew and I would be where we are at or not. He often says that we'd still be living at Paul's, and he'd still be working at Bill's. So, in other words, she helped better us in at least a small way, right?

So, I know I don't really have to tell you, but everyday is an adventure around here. Lorelei is working hard on her milestones, and I do my best to help her. She is such a georgous and happy little girl.

I often feel that I am a fortunate woman. Between how wonderful of a little girl I got, my wonderful fiance, who we are working with to help him become an even better man, to my dream future in-laws. Really, you often hear stories of some of the worst mother-in-laws, or which ever in law, but really there is next to nothing I would change about them. I wish I could help them with their troubles as I see them as my own family. In fact, sometimes I forget that they aren't yet.

12:10 PM

Save the TATAS


Go to this website-they are doing a drawing for a free Save the Tatas shirt. These shirts are freaking awesome!

9:52 PM

Some Deeper thoughts

It has been quite the week around here. Lorelei is still on her strike against sleeping through the night. She has been waking around 2 am, than 5, than 7, 8, and 9 am. I am trying everything I can think of to return her to her previous state of sleeping all the way through. However, in the mean time, we are back to being tired as can be around here. It is difficult to plan or anything when you are in this state and it has led to some harsh words between some of us. However, it is alright, we always make it through.

I was bathing Lorelei just a bit ago, and some things occurred to me. Often, we hear on the news about awful things that have been done to infants and children. We don't hear only hear it on the news, though, there are many around that have endured various abuses. Many of you already knew, though not all, that I am a person that knows the pains of abuse first hand from the very man who assisted in the conception of me. This has led to many things in my mind even as early as finding out that we were pregnant.

I cannot wrap my mind around anyone who can hurt a child, especially an infant. I look at my daughter, and although I know that a 'normal' person wouldn't do such, I think of how many out there have various mental illnesses that prevent them thinking like a normal person would in such a situation. There are alcoholics and drug addicts who don't know what they are doing, they do horrible things in a blur. I knew a man who was accused of sexually abusing his stepdaughter. He could not properly defend himself because he was unsure whether he did it due to the drunken stupor he was in at the time in question. In a case such as that, or such as mental illenss, I feel bad for the person in a way that in the offender. In the case of Richard, my biological father, this is a man who will (as far as I am concerned) never know where I am, never know of my pending marriage, and most certainly never know of his granddaughters' existance for her own safety.

It is difficult to fathom how someone like an alcoholic or drug addict cannot understand that they are hurting people, however by the time that these things typically occur, it is often at that point the addiction that has taken over and it is very difficult to get through to them. By that time, they often become the victim in their own minds. It seems they either think that everyone is out to get them and accuse them or that they need to put on a face and convince everyone that all is well and try to hide what is going on. They never realize that usually everyone can see right through them. It is difficult to watch a family be torn apart by alcohol or a drug. Hard to watch an offspring stare at their parent with hurt and anger in their eyes, and even worse is when that parent cannot see this, or cannot seem to push to fix what is going on. Addiction is a tough battle. I see it as a similar battle to cancer, although at the same time, cancer, at least there are often outside things to assist in the battle for your life back. You often have the option of chemotherapy and radiation. Addiction, you have to look outside of yourself and surround yourself with the right things. There is no magic cure. But it is always worth it to get better and pull your family together.

10:01 PM

I am going to attach some pictures of some thoughts I have for my hair thus far for the wedding (now lets hope it gets long enough). I stole every image here from a google search, so I claim NO credit!

4:10 PM


Okay, here are my to-do lists for the wedding. If you have thoughts, suggestions, or anything of the like, I would love to hear them. I do not promise though that I'll use them...

For Rehearsal Dinner & Evening (Friday night):
Set a timeline for day/evening
Find wedding party & parent gifts
Decide on where or what to have brought in for dinner
Maybe a small outting?

Day of (Saturday):
Place to have my hair done. I am unsure if we can even afford this, so maybe if someone knows someone ;)
Searching for following things: dresses for my mom and Drew's mom, shoes for me, hair accessories (my latest thought for hair is to have an updo, with pins in it that have crystals on the end, and a bit of veil coming out from the bottom of my bun)
Dinner menu
Viewing options for montage
Writing ceremony
designing programs
start of scrapbook
cupcake display
extra tables/chairs

Day After (sunday):
breakfast menu for guests while we open presents
clean up crew

I know that there are other things, so I will update this as needed. Please let me know if there is something you can help with

6:45 PM


Well this weekend, we mostly relaxed. It was well deserved as we have run and run and run most of the time since moving in with my parents. Lorelei got to move on from bananas to peas. She rather seems to enjoy her peas thus far, which of course is wonderful. I haven't had her downright refuse any food, except of course if she wasn't hungry.

It has been decent around here. I have been researching wedding stuff, and some things are really starting to get down there to the wire. I need guest numbers, and I think I have my side covered. Soon, we'll also have to get the deposit out for the DJ, just waiting on my future father in law for that one because he was supposed to check about a friend of his.

I have been working on designing things. I have completed the design for the invitations! I have been working on the programs, and due to our pocketfolds for the invitations being discontinued, I will also need to design a wedding announcement for people like my great grandmother who I know will be unable to attend.

10:41 PM

visit http://www.stlmommy.com/2009/01/walgreens-25-gift-card-giveaway.html for a chance to win a walgreen's gift card!

7:52 PM